Monthly Archives: May 2014

What Happened to Childhood?

I’ve found this increasingly being the question I’ve asked myself. I turn 19 in the August coming so I have passed the childhood/pre-teen state. I’m pretty sure I had a good childhood, I played with dolls, I coloured out the lines, I jumped over the sprinkler, I had about 1 hour on the computer a week to play my My Little Pony game or my Tweenies game, I went on holidays to Haven and got pictures with Anxious the Elephant and Rory the Tiger, I went to Disney Land. I then was a pre-teen, I had a year of trying out makeup (big no-no), I even went to the extent of sneaking out the house to spend the night with one of my friends – although it totally wasn’t worth it since I was on edge all night about getting back before my parents.

BUT lately I’ve began to see that children are skipping out on the child part and going straight into a pre-teen state of mind. I do Brownies (age 7-10) and I’ve found it hugely happening around the ages of 8 and 9. Our 7 year olds don’t give a damn about how their hair is, if their clothes match, if they have the latest phone or if they’ve heard the latest boybands songs,  then they turn 8 and BAM! When we took the Brownies away a weekend ago, one of them asked whether she could bring makeup for the ‘party‘ on the Saturday night – we said no, there was actually no point whatsoever to bring makeup, I said she could bring lip-gloss if she so wished but not makeup, she accepted it once I’d come to agreement about the lipgloss. When we got there we found one of our 8 year olds had brought makeup regardless and had attempted to put it on in the morning and then spent the rest of the day with a slightly blackened face from the mistake with the mascara – when asked why she’d brought it, she replied ‘It makes me pretty’ which honestly truly upset me, the thought that an 8 year old thought she needed makeup to feel pretty.

Of course it’s not just makeup, the amount of 8/9 year olds I have telling me they have a better phone than me is amazing and I really can’t believe that some of these children have iPhone 5’s and iPads! I also am amazed at the amount of Facebook accounts and Instagram accounts they have, including my cousin who really recently turned 10, she has a instagram, that I follow through curiosity and she uses it to express how sexy the member of One Direction are which I don’t know how I feel about because she is in fact just turned 10, she is only in Year 5 and she’s using the word Sexy to describe men.

This was just something that’s been on my mind, I find it really upsetting that children are no longer having childhoods and are being little adults by the time they are 14/15.



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Working with a Good Team

You know you’re working with a good group of people when you can have a meeting and just sit there, relax, eat, laugh talk about everything but the thing we’re supposed to but when we get to the thing we’re supposed to we’re all truly professional and all get the work done and not shout and argue about any disagreements.

I’m glad I have chosen such a professional and friendly team of people to work on my book with.

Basorexia (more to be revealed)


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Writing a Blogger (Vlogger)

So I’ve started the almighty challenge of writing a Vlogger, well two vloggers.

I got the idea after watched a outrageous amount of Lushlaw videos on YouTube and an intriguing thought struck me, the charm of Lushlaw is that they’re a couple and they let it be known that they are very happy together and kiss occasionally on camera.

My idea began to form because I thought about the power of deceiving. My characters Calvin and Damian (YouTube name CDPlayer) are boyfriends but only on YouTube, outside of YouTube they are nothing more than 7 year friends who are both gay – that bit isn’t a lie.

I’ve been playing with this idea for a few days and have a good surface for it and find the challenge of writing it thrilling. But to make sure I do the right amount of research and write this completely right, I have also started a vlog which’ll kick off tomorrow on ASeeley – and that I am a mixture of terrified and excited about.




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So I’m so uninspired that I’m playing on games on the CBBC website!

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You learn to Write…


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May 25, 2014 · 1:21 pm

Thinking Positive is Important

Today I was feeling so negative, so very, very negative, all my thoughts we’re attacking myself and it made me feel like utter shit.

It’s honestly taken a while for me to get to the point of feeling good about myself and right now I do, I like my hair, I’m happy with my body, I like my personality. I’m happy and after about 5 years of trying to get to that point I must admit I’m proud of myself for getting there.

I usually (and in the last 3 years have never had to) don’t care about how I dress for college, I’ll wear what I want, what I feel comfortable in wearing and I don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks of what I look like.

Today however, I stood in front of the mirror and wore 3 different sets of clothes before I finally settled on m (what I call) I don’t care jumper.

But thinking positive really is so important, today I felt physically ill because of my negativity, I had a pulsing headache because all I could think about was that I was fat or I wasn’t pretty enough, I was really very conscious about every move I made today, I kept glancing at the person that made me feel that way and I felt like I was back in Year 9 being judged by a supposed friend and being told I wasn’t perfect enough for her.

But I did the wrong thing. I left and I didn’t stick it out, I should’ve I knew I should’ve but my stomach and my head totally didn’t agree with me. Luckily I’ve got a brilliant friend who I could tell this too and get it off my chest instead of just letting it eat me up.

Now I am usually like a campaign person for good body image and feeling good about yourself but honestly everyone has weak days and unfortunately today was one, so I’m going to take this opportunity to first promote the amazing organization I’m a member of and their amazing ‘Free being Me’ Campaign.

5924056-largeThis fantastic programme encourages girls and young women to celebrate their individuality and to challenge the myth of the perfect appearance created by society. It’s available as two packs designed for 7-10 year olds and for 11-14 year olds

and I will also take it to say, no-one has the right to put you down, if you’re happy, if you’re comfortable then don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t be. Everyone has weak days, honestly, everyone does, but just remember to keep your friends close and to talk about it with people, never let it eat you away inside, ever.



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This is an extract from an upcoming book (which I’m not telling you) and it’s something that sort of really relates to me.

it’d began to stress me out, which inflamed my eczema alongside the heat which made it itchy, so I scratched because I had no-one to stop me from doing it and it becomes like a drug because it feels so good and you just can’t stop it – Rob can stop me doing it because his slaps hurt so much that I don’t want him to repeat it but when I’m alone I just continue, I continue until I can feel it stinging and even then I couldn’t stop because it was still itchy and it needed to be scratched, so I did, I scratched until my skin cracked and I felt as my fingers became wet that was when I stopped, when my body was burning with the crack and bleeding skin and I couldn’t lift my arm without it stinging, so I couldn’t do anything but lie there and fall asleep.

As you’ve probably guessed, I do suffer from eczema and I’ve also discovered it’s hardly ever wrote about. This character suffers from Asthma, Dyslexia and Eczema which also equals him to have rather Low Self Esteem. I felt portraying him as a real person was very, very important and I hope I’ve portrayed it well since I only really suffer from Dyslexia and Eczema and admittedly Low Self Esteem every now and again.

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My characters age with me.

This may seem obvious but lately I’ve really noticed it.

I recently indulged myself by going back and having a look at my very first writing projects from when I was 14/15. I found that my MC’s were all ranging the same age, Nathan in Choreography is just turning 15, Benjamin in The Day Before is 14. I then left school (at age 16) and so did my characters.

Besides the fact they all began becoming actors they also all began leaving Secondary School. Mason and Jason who left school at 17 to go to college in Trapped, Ryan not only just left school but entered the McKenzie Jackson Academy at age 16 in Superstar, Lottie and Scout at age 15 and Stephen, Katie and Noah at age 16 preparing to leave school with a very interesting 3-part Sex Education class in Sex Education  I went onto my second year in college (age 17) and wrote Josh at age 18 finishing up his third year in college Romeo and Julian, triplets Nathan, Nathaniel and Daniel at age 18 leaving school for University in Treble Clef.

Now I’m in my third year of college (18) and all my characters are becoming adults. Kevin is 24 in Stanley Street, all the Gay Brigade books range between the ages of 16 and 69.


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So I got quite a bad review today.


I woke up to this review this morning and honestly I was upset, I mean of course, if you ever say I wasn’t upset I’d go as far to say you were lying because I really was heartbroken. I was sat there thinking this person obviously never read the back of my book (which clearly states that I am not only 18 but am also dyslexic). But as I thought about it more, the fact his person states that EVERYTHING I write is awful leads me to wonder why exactly they A) only commented on this one and B) continued to buy them.

I watched two movies this afternoon, kept my mind of it and by the evening I’d decided that it was just one persons opinion, sure everyone’s entitled to their opinion and I’m not going to reply to the review, there’s no need to and I’m not going to be really upset by it because that is just ONE persons view and already this year I’ve sold just over 80 books so obviously people are enjoying them.

So obviously, I’m saying don’t be disheartened when you get a bad review because that’s just one person!


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Things I’m Passionate about Number Ten! (In no particular order)


Okay, so this is the one everyone expected.

I am extremely passionate about writing as most people would know. It’s the feeling of being someone else. When I started writing when I was 14, I’d had a bad previous year where I was forced to be something I’m not so when I begun writing it was like I didn’t need to worry about who I was, all I needed to worry about was my character – Nathan Smith – who he was and what was going on with his life and stuff like that I didn’t need to be myself and I really, really liked that.

The problem with it was that I didn’t actually begin to discover who I was until I was 16 but it didn’t stop me writing books which began getting thicker and faster and just wouldn’t stop.

Writing is one of the things most people associate me with but it’s because it’s something I can do if I’m bored or if I’m alone, I can write in my head easily, I can sit with a piece of lined paper and have it filled by the hour, it’s something I love doing and I enjoy creating people and situations which are so beyond my life that even though they’re fictional they make my life interesting.

If it could be, I’d love for writing to just be my career, for me to be able to sit with a laptop all day every day and just write, to go to resorts and sit on the embankment with a notepad and sunglasses and work out new stories, I’d love to do it but the way I do it now also completely satisfy me.

I find, writing is the escape I need sometimes, I can very easily zone out and just write, just sit and not need a pen and paper but just write scenes – although my mind is not exactly a blessing since I can get inspired by something like a garden shed!

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